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>Rose: greet your girlfriend.

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Your name is Rose Lalonde, daughter of APOLLO, god of MUSIC, POETRY, HEALING and driver of the GOLDEN SUN CHARIOT.

You are currently standing outside the hideously rendered CABIN SEVEN, about to make your way to a hopefully-less-hideously rendered CABIN FOUR to meet your girlfriend before lunch. You half-heartedly hope nothing happens on the short walk there to ruin your date, or possibly cause it to be cancelled. You hope, but the abilities afforded to you by your divine parentage tell you such fantasies are in vain. Something is about to happen.

> Something: happen.

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You accidentally be this girl instead.

==> Enter parent.

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Jade can’t be in because she’s too busy thinking it’s a stupid plan.

> Vriska: try the other guy.

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You hop on her inferior bottom bunk to give her a sense of security and friendship. That’s important to make sure she’s all buttered up to take your side. You are SO GOOD at talking to people it’s almost sad thinking about how bad everyone else is at it. Almost, if it weren’t so damn hilarious.

You lay out the details of your GR8 PLAN while she listens with rapt awe and admiration spread all over her easily-readable human face. This is  almost TOO easy. You’ve got her eating out of your hands. There’s really no point in asking if she’s in, but you do it anyway to demonstrate your ability to adopt human manners.

> Jade: be in.

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hmmmmmmmm……..

Not bad. There are definitely worse puppets campers to use ask for help. But this is a pretty touchy subject. You’d prefer someone

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like Jade. PERFECT!!!!!!!! With her influence, you could get the whole camp on your side, and Chiron and that dumb “Camp Host” will HAVE to let you have your way!!!!!!!! Now you just have to make sure you play your cards right with Jade.

> Talk to Jade.

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But which loser to talk to first? This is clearly a matter of such grave importance, you couldn’t possibly make an uninformed decision without invoking the wrath of the gods—or just god, singular. Janus is always meddling in mortal affairs, and it isn’t really all that hard to invoke his wrath. That guy’s wrath is like…

like…

like something that is really easy to invoke.

yeah that works.

> Consult stat sheet.

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You turn around and start the friendliest conversation you can muster with the cabin wall. 

Show cabinlog: 

Vriska: Hey.

Wall: 

Vriska: So you’re a wall huh?

Wall: 

Vriska: Oh my god you’re so l8me.

Wall:

Vriska: Ok8y I’m done here.

> Well that sure was a waste of time. Try talking to your cabin mates.